"At the Gainesville kickoff show, an eager dude jumped out of his car and smashed his head on the entry-stanchions. I watched another group of patrons steer each other around his stains by saying, charitably, ‘Careful where you step, somebody got their period.’ Behind me in line, a dude told his companion, ‘I’m already coked out of my mind at 9:50.’ When a guy surmised that a girl cut in front of him en route to the eventual redemption of their $28 tickets, he heckled her in a classist manner; no kidding, y’all, I heard a guy in designer flip-flops try to start a feud with a girl in flared jeans by saying, ‘Why don’t you go to Wal-Mart and get some conditioner?’ The winner of the night’s douche kebab, however, was the dude who pushed his own friend into the wall after the poor friend said Girl Talk was his favorite DJ. Pusher grabbed his friend and grumbled, ‘Girl Talk’s not some DJ. He’s a mastermind.’"